Confidence: Learning To Love Yourself
By Lindsay McGlamery
Have you ever been around other people and all a sudden you start thinking about how you can be like someone else in that room? What about when you see yourself in the mirror do you ever speak negative words over yourself? On the blog today I want to write about confidence and what to do to overcome it.
With the increasing popularity of social media, insecurities and comparing one another has kind of become a thing. The media is making people feel insecure because of the way they display the content. In the first section I want to talk about some of the insecurities I face, but also am overcoming.
What Is Confidence?
Confidence means to believe in one’s self and to be bold in everything you do. Confidence is not worrying about what other people think of you. It means being true to yourself. And being positive throughout anything you go through
My Confidence Background
My own self-confidence issues started about the time I entered middle school. I am a pastors kid and I feel like I am always constantly in the spotlight because of that. People always look to see how I live my life. Yes, I know I come from a good family, that I have people who care about me and that other people’s thoughts about me shouldn’t matter. But everyone now lives in a day and age where we are all becoming aware of how other people feel about our own selves.
The thing that started my self-confidence issues is the fact that I notice everything going on around me. But I also think a factor is the fact I have never felt like I quite fit in anywhere. Maybe its because I moved a few times? Or maybe it’s because I am supposed to be different? Who knows? I think different isn’t a bad thing though. But the thoughts of wanting to be like everyone else can definitely take a toll on someone. I am always thinking and sometimes it’s hard to turn off my brain.
The hardest part about my insecurities is that the outer appearance is always heavily talked about. Being a PK also makes it hard on one’s physical appearance, (but being a PK is not always bad there are just things that can definitely how one view themselves). I always feel pressure to have to look a certain way or wear certain things.
The deeper problem is that I need to learn to be ok with myself not having to always be perfect. I think my insecurities come feeling like I always have to be perfect. My insecurities can interfere with things like fixing my hair or how I dress.
My insecurities always made me scared to say certain things to people because of my trust issues. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and come off the wrong way. I always pay attention to peoples facial expressions. So, maybe that is what makes me overthink my words.
Bullying played a big factor in my insecurities during my middle school years. My first experience with bullying was in seventh grade. Some boys in my history class called me names during several different classes. Thankfully, the situation handled and fixed but it did hurt my confidence a little bit. It was the same way with the other bullying issue but it happened on the bus.
After Middle School
Because of these earlier issues, I wasn’t very talkative and outgoing in high school. I had a couple of friends but I honestly never really trusted them. I was friendly and kind, but I never had a true friend that I could count own. With friendships, I felt like I was always the one giving in a friendship. These issues have carried on in my college experience. I also just now started to learn how to deal with my insecurities. I believe one can learn to believe in themselves with the right methods. In the next part, I am going to talk about some ways everyone, including myself, should try to better one’s confidence.
Ways To Become Secure In One's Self
The hardest thing one can do to learn to appreciate their self-worth is to learn to not care what others think/do. But to learn to care more about one’s own wellness. This is hard for me because I am a perfectionist in ways and I always try to please others. It is hard to stop focusing on helping others and focus more on your own wellness. So here are some ways I am learning to use to deal with my insecurities.
Confidence Building With God, Yourself & Other People
First, my belief in God is one of those things that is important about me. So if you are Christian, I would say pray to God or read scripture to help you overcome the insecurities you face. Seek him to help find confidence in yourself. One scripture that helps me is Philippians 4: 13, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Knowing that God can give you the strength you need to find your self-worth is comforting.
Second, I think in order to become secure in yourself one must learn to think positively. Thinking positively can lead to good things down the road. Some ways to do this is to wake up telling yourself positive words about yourself. Also, writing down words that you see yourself as can help as well.
Third, finding people who are positive and trustworthy is always a good way to build confidence (I have had a couple of them come into my life already). Having friends and people around you who will encourage you through your insecurities is important. Having people who will let you lean on them when the insecurities are too much to bear is helpful and encouraging. Fourthly, to handle one’s insecurities it is important to come to the conclusion that one can’t always be perfect. Knowing that you are going to make mistakes may eventually help you and me in some way. Finally, I think making small goals and achieving them is important to build confidence in yourself. The achievement of a goal can possibly bring about positivity but also the challenge to believe in one’s self.
Confidence is something that will always need to be buil up. It is something that many people will face. Learning to grow and care about one’s own self will always be present in many ways. With my own insecurities and confidence issues, I hope to change my way of thinking and learn that not being perfect is ok. I hope to learn that the way I look is ok as well even though it may take some time.
Comment below ways you have tried to improve your self-confidence or ways you are trying to improve your self-care/confidence.