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Confidence: Learning To Love Yourself

Confidence: Learning To Love Yourself

By Lindsay McGlamery

Have you ever been around other people and all a sudden you start thinking about how you can be like someone else in that room? What about when you see yourself in the mirror do you ever speak negative words over yourself? On the blog today I want to write about confidence and what to do to overcome it.

With the increasing popularity of social media, insecurities and comparing one another has kind of become a thing. The media is making people feel insecure because of the way they display the content. In the first section I want to talk about some of the insecurities I face, but also am overcoming.

What Is Confidence?

Confidence means to believe in one’s self and to be bold in everything you do. Confidence is not worrying about what other people think of you. It means being true to yourself. And being positive throughout anything you go through

My Confidence Background

My own self-confidence issues started about the time I entered middle school. I am a pastors kid and I feel like I am always constantly in the spotlight because of that. People always look to see how I live my life. Yes, I know I come from a good family, that I have people who care about me and that other people’s thoughts about me shouldn’t matter. But everyone now lives in a day and age where we are all becoming aware of how other people feel about our own selves.

The thing that started my self-confidence issues is the fact that I notice everything going on around me. But I also think a factor is the fact I have never felt like I quite fit in anywhere. Maybe its because I moved a few times? Or maybe it’s because I am supposed to be different? Who knows? I think different isn’t a bad thing though. But the thoughts of wanting to be like everyone else can definitely take a toll on someone. I am always thinking and sometimes it’s hard to turn off my brain.

Physical Confidence

The hardest part about my insecurities is that the outer appearance is always heavily talked about. Being a PK also makes it hard on one’s physical appearance, (but being a PK is not always bad there are just things that can definitely how one view themselves). I always feel pressure to have to look a certain way or wear certain things.

The deeper problem is that I need to learn to be ok with myself not having to always be perfect. I think my insecurities come feeling like I always have to be perfect. My insecurities can interfere with things like fixing my hair or how I dress.

My insecurities always made me scared to say certain things to people because of my trust issues. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and come off the wrong way. I always pay attention to peoples facial expressions. So, maybe that is what makes me overthink my words.

Bullying

Bullying played a big factor in my insecurities during my middle school years. My first experience with bullying was in seventh grade. Some boys in my history class called me names during several different classes. Thankfully, the situation handled and fixed but it did hurt my confidence a little bit. It was the same way with the other bullying issue but it happened on the bus.

After Middle School

Because of these earlier issues, I wasn’t very talkative and outgoing in high school. I had a couple of friends but I honestly never really trusted them. I was friendly and kind, but I never had a true friend that I could count own. With friendships, I felt like I was always the one giving in a friendship. These issues have carried on in my college experience. I also just now started to learn how to deal with my insecurities. I believe one can learn to believe in themselves with the right methods. In the next part, I am going to talk about some ways everyone, including myself, should try to better one’s confidence.

Ways To Become Secure In One's Self

The hardest thing one can do to learn to appreciate their self-worth is to learn to not care what others think/do. But to learn to care more about one’s own wellness. This is hard for me because I am a perfectionist in ways and I always try to please others. It is hard to stop focusing on helping others and focus more on your own wellness. So here are some ways I am learning to use to deal with my insecurities.

Confidence Building With God, Yourself & Other People

First, my belief in God is one of those things that is important about me. So if you are Christian, I would say pray to God or read scripture to help you overcome the insecurities you face. Seek him to help find confidence in yourself. One scripture that helps me is Philippians 4: 13, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Knowing that God can give you the strength you need to find your self-worth is comforting. 

Second, I think in order to become secure in yourself one must learn to think positively. Thinking positively can lead to good things down the road. Some ways to do this is to wake up telling yourself positive words about yourself. Also, writing down words that you see yourself as can help as well.

Third,  finding people who are positive and trustworthy is always a good way to build confidence (I have had a couple of them come into my life already). Having friends and people around you who will encourage you through your insecurities is important. Having people who will let you lean on them when the insecurities are too much to bear is helpful and encouraging. Fourthly, to handle one’s insecurities it is important to come to the conclusion that one can’t always be perfect. Knowing that you are going to make mistakes may eventually help you and me in some way. Finally, I think making small goals and achieving them is important to build confidence in yourself.  The achievement of a goal can possibly bring about positivity but also the challenge to believe in one’s self.

Conclusion

Confidence is something that will always need to be buil up. It is something that many people will face. Learning to grow and care about one’s own self will always be present in many ways.  With my own insecurities and confidence issues, I hope to change my way of thinking and learn that not being perfect is ok. I hope to learn that the way I look is ok as well even though it may take some time. 

Comment below ways you have tried to improve your self-confidence or ways you are trying to improve your self-care/confidence. 

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2018-11-30T17:45:02-05:00

About the Author:

21 years-old | Junior @ Lee University (Studio Production Major)| Aspiring blogger, photographer, videographer, and producer |

17 Comments

  1. subhash kumar September 13, 2018 at 9:30 am - Reply

    Great article for all

  2. Lucy September 13, 2018 at 9:41 am - Reply

    Seriously lovely blog and lovely read. It is always so important to love yourself first where you can then progress to everything and everybody else afterwards. Sending my love from London. xo

    http://lucybarnesfashion.blogspot.com

  3. Stephanie Vazquez September 13, 2018 at 11:05 am - Reply

    Took years of looking at myself in the mirror to build up charisma and feel confident in my own skin… telling myself every day that I’m beautiful and one of a kind got me the confidence I have today!

  4. Krish September 13, 2018 at 11:32 am - Reply

    Confidence flows from self belief which is based on hard preparation…God only help those who are willing to ho an extra step to help themselves..
    God bless you

  5. Jennifer Dagi September 13, 2018 at 11:53 am - Reply

    Self-confidence is a virtue everyone needs to have in order to succeed in life. Nice article!

  6. Theunion sports blog September 13, 2018 at 2:11 pm - Reply

    When I was going through hell this year. I used podyive reaffirmations to build up my confidence and life.

  7. Viv September 13, 2018 at 4:55 pm - Reply

    Ah, Lindsay. I am 52 and still working on this. As long as you continue to keep at it and not let low confidence get the better of you. There are good days and bad. Wishing you mainly good x

  8. Devyani Ray September 13, 2018 at 9:29 pm - Reply

    Public speaking and starting a conversation with strangers! Helped me a lot in boosting my confidence.

  9. Nina Nichols September 14, 2018 at 12:56 pm - Reply

    I’ve always believed that loving yourself is the greatest love of all despite of our insecurities, failures, and shortcomings. 🙂

  10. Maysz September 14, 2018 at 10:31 pm - Reply

    I have an article about Love yourself too. I hope you will read my blog post too title Change of Heart. start loving yourself start when you start value yourself and the rest will follow into piece.

  11. Adaezeboltbethel September 15, 2018 at 7:03 am - Reply

    This is beautiful, I totally have the same concept with you. I hope to work with you on the future. I love having people with positive vibes around.

  12. Mimi Laura September 15, 2018 at 12:28 pm - Reply

    The hardest thing one can do to learn to appreciate their self-worth is to learn to not care what others think/do. I totally agree. I am so happy you have found your confidence.

  13. Jeferson September 16, 2018 at 8:17 am - Reply

    Knowing one’s worth is key to confidence….. Flaw is ok, no one is perfect anyway….. Focusing on one’s strength really pulled off one’s insecurities……an honest post to begin with is already a step toward confidence ……

  14. Prabashi September 16, 2018 at 9:36 pm - Reply

    This is spot on a great vibe. The day we start valuing ourselves first you will see the world in a different way. We forget our uniqueness and try to bled with other with different similarities

  15. Blair villanueva September 17, 2018 at 5:22 am - Reply

    Learning to give value first to ourselves will make us confident to help others find their value as well.

  16. Cassie September 17, 2018 at 6:59 am - Reply

    Confidence always starts from within

  17. melissa September 17, 2018 at 9:59 am - Reply

    I was just talking to my sis in law about confidence and how hard it can be at times. Everyone swears im so confidence but in reality i also sometimes have issues with it, especially physical confidence.

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